The Inner Circle

Heya folks,

Just a quickly. This music tracks title is somewhat ironic. Interesting question ehh? heh.

I just got a message from Millie she said she was feeing a lot better after a rest, she misses me and signed it with love. So that makes things feel a lot better.

I’ve just finished adding hit tracking on all my websites *evil laugh* they now show up to voiced users in #docs. Heh, so normal people shouldn’t be +v, otherwise they may be flodded :). I wounder how Ant and Angela got on today.

Adios for now,

Pete.

I just got an SMS from Millie, she said she’d been Angry and Tired all day, also she’s in a fair amount of pain. I feel so sorry for her and I want to be there for her. I let her know if there was anything I could do for her I would.

I’d imagen at the moment she’s curled up in bed trying to relax, feeling better. The subject doesn’t really mean anything, it’s just from this song… I think things are okey between us, I hope they are.

Oh well, I’m off for now,

Pete.

Hmmm, today has been somewhat rocky. I was talking to Millie via email today, she noticed Rosie’s birthday was on my countdown timer. I told her it was there because she had pestered me to put it there. Not a complete version of the truth, but it sufficed. I also moaned that my day wasn’t that great, I was worrying about her, etc.

Then I got an email back. Which the way it was written was in a none to nice mood. She said “your worried about me and your adding random women from work on to your list of important dates?”, which I think perhaps upset her. I’m hoping it didn’t, but it’s always possible. I wrote her a semi-appologetic letter back, explaining things.

I hope it sorts things out, I really don’t want to loose her. It’s somewhat proved I love her, because I’m so worried about what implications it’ll have. This is also worse because of the fact it’s during her period, so she’s somewhat more… moody *ducks from all the women*.

I’m also hoping this is at the start of her period, because otherwise it means she should be about due when I go over to France. Which will blatently suck, I would ask her, but she might go mad at me at the moment, claiming sex is all I think about.

So assuming this is the start, 4 days from now is the 27th. Then the 14th is about 18 days away. Leaving two days which I there. That is if she’s 28 days exact. Which will blatently suck if she’s early. SIGH. Not that thats the only reason I’m going over there, we all know it’s not.

Oh well, I’m going to wait to hear from her, sigh, I hate worrying,

Pete.

Hmmm, I’ve just not been mentally right today and I don’t really know why. I got an email from Millie today after lunch, so that made my day a little bit, I replied, but didn’t get any futher follow up on that.

We went out at lunch for Jude’s birthday, Gary and I had a pint and a burger, which I’m sure is what put me in a naff mood for the rest of the day. I got so bored in the afternoon and just wanted it to end.

When I came to drive home I took a rather stupid risk for some reason, idiotic really. I’m really gonna have to make an effort to make my driving safer.

I didn’t talk to Rosie much today, heh, it’s stupid, I know I’ll never let it happen, and I seriously doubt she’s interested, but it still makes it worth while to go into work, makes me slightly happy.

Don’t get me wrong I love Millie to bits and I would never do anything to harm her, like cheating or sleeping about. We haven’t done that while seeing each other and I have no plan on starting now.

I sent her a text message an hour ago, and her phone isn’t on. I got impatient and sent her another one, because I wasn’t sure it got through. Stupid me, I’m just missing her, I want to talk to her for a long time, but I haven’t really had the chance.

I still find it’s strange that we’re using this word called “love”. A few days ago Angela and I discussed the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. There’s a difference, although neither of us are sure what it is.

Joy rang last night, she wanted to know what we where going to do for our joint birthday, if anything. We’ll probably do something at the end of August at some point, as Angela is away at Reading during the ideal time to have it. Problem is at the end of August we might be rolling out Novell Client 6 at work, which will mean a fair amount of over time.

Not long now until I go away to see Millie, only 22 days, and I’m counting each hour down… I can’t wait to see her, to hug her, just to spend time with her. I think this proves our relationship isn’t just built on sex, yes it’s a part of it and god knows we enjoy it. But it’s not entirely it. I feel strongly for Millie, I do wounder what she feels for me.

We had a conversation about two months ago that she never reveals what she really feels, I’d love to know deep down what she feels. She claims it’s so she can’t get hurt, she knows that I’d never do anything.

Or would I? I wouldn’t want to obviously. I love her to bits, but I do say that I’m being tried at the moment with Rosie. Although I’ve started to put up safe guards. Rosie has a bf, I have a gf, etc, as well as various others.

Heh, to some peoples dismay I’m sure, I take this to prove the non existance of god. The lords prayer contains “leed us not into temptation”. I ask then why does he feel the need to test me and leed me into temptation? But as I don’t beleave anyway, what’s it really matter.

Oh well, I’ve just learnt that both Sven and Krysten are due to loose their jobs in San Diego, which I’m sure sucks very much for them. Kenneth has also just lost his. The computing industry really isn’t doing well at the moment. I’m going to start contributing towards the T1 again and hope it helps them. I can’t imagen them managing to pay $300 a month for a T1 line if their both unemployed.

Okey, blurting this out has made me feel better, so I’m gonna go and try enjoy my self before I go to bed and get a good sleep.

Adios,

Pete.

I was just on the phone to Millie for like 3-4 minutes, so I’m now really missing her. It’s made me feel kinda unhappy. Perhaps it’s because I’m missing her so much, or I wasn’t before, but now I am because I hadn’t spoken to her.

I’m not sure what’s really wrong with me. She says she misses me, but there’s always a bit of doubt in the back of my mind. It’s stupid really, that’s probably because I haven’t seen her in so long.

A hint of doubt creeps in, hmmm, stupid really.

Oh well, I’m off to chill for now,

Pete.