The Inner Circle

In my first year of college I was still dating a girl called Emma Reid, she was my first real girlfriend and to be honest it kinda happened by accident (that however is another story). It had been going on for over a year since the end of Year 10 at school. However at college I was interested in other people, and I guess it just wasn’t working for me. I was young and stupid, inexperienced and maybe a little under peer pressure, I’m not sure.

Our college ran socials, which involved a large proportion of the colleges students going out to a night club in order to let of steam and just generally have a good time. At the time I kinda had a thing for a girl called Beth, I was still seeing Emma every now and again, until that fateful night. I kinda knew Beth had a thing for me too, but she knew that she shouldn’t while I was dating Emma.

Well one particular social Beth and I had way to much to drink and basically ended up in each others arms. Nothing really serious happened, cuddling and kissing. I guess I realised at that point that people did like me, and I felt that I was “limited” in my relationship with Emma. So in an act, that in retrospect I consider rather shameful, I used that event as an excuse for splitting up with Emma.

I went around to her house one day, explained what had happened, and told her that I wanted to break up and end it. Her reaction still gives me a little bad feeling in my stomach. We did however break it off, I remember Kellie Burgess moaning at me that I’d caused Emma to spend an hour or so crying to Kellie…. sorry Kel.

During the British Waterways Christmas party during my third year of uni I met up with Carl Scott, who told me that Emma had a kid. I was somewhat shocked… although I wasn’t at the same time. I’m sure if I had never dated her and just known her as a friend I wouldn’t have been shocked at all…. but maybe it was because I had been involved with her.

So what brings this up now? I know it’s history. I have only seen her once in town since then… until today. Today was a day of getting things sorted out, a hair cut, tax for the car, new windscreen wipers and… new jeans. So I went into Burtons (the only real place in Northwich to find male clothes), went to the jeans section, picked up a few to try on, and walked towards the changing rooms.

Near the changing rooms I saw Paul Doyle for the first time in 4 years, I looked at him, looked away, looked back (as you do). Nodded towards him and mouthed Hello as you do. Now normally I would have stayed and chatted, except that I knew that Emma’s child was the son of Paul’s brother, Mark. Then to Paul’s right I noticed Mark and under his feet was his child.

So I quickly moved on into the changing room, Mark had looked at me with one of those knowing looks. He knew that we had once met, one of those familiarity things. While trying on these jeans I heard a male voice I couldn’t pin down, then I kinda realised that it was Emma’s fathers voice, talking about a suit. Then I heard other voices that I recognised.

It turns out the entire family was out cloth shopping for Emma and Marks wedding. I procrastinated in my changing room to try and waste time until they left, but it didn’t work. I was so unbelievably nervous about leaving that changing room, I knew that I was gonna have to walk past them all to leave. I’m not sure if I was ashamed to see them, but hmm, I don’t know. It didn’t feel right.

However I got up the courage and started to walk out, only to be stopped in the corridor by Emma’s farther standing there. Thankfully he turned around and didn’t see me. I walked out, and past every one, which now included Emma, her mother, and I think one of her brothers.

Emma looked good, she’s grown up into a good looking adult. I almost ran to the checkout, paid and then left as soon as I could. I’m not sure if Emma saw me, but I’m sure Paul will have mentioned it to them. He was surprised to see me I’m sure, I was to see him. I guess I was so nervous with them all standing there, incase they were to say something. Oh well. I wish Emma and Mark the best for their wedding and the rest of their lives.

It was so odd, and thankfully that was the last thing I needed to do in town that day. So I walked back to my car and just sat down in a kind of daze for a while. I’m not sure why I wanted to blog this, but I think I just needed to write it all out. It has been an odd day.

TTFN,

P.